THE SEX TALK

'How far can I go?' is a familiar question presented to youth workers by hormonal teenagers. Romance Academy founder Rachel Gardner explores the future of sex and relationships education and unpacks how the church can guide young people in right relationships.

Parents at 16

I recently drove a young couple home from a Romance Academy session. Normally the trip takes us 10 minutes, this time it took us 40. In response to me asking them how they were getting on, they told me that they were thinking about trying for a baby once they both turned 16. Trying for a baby, at 16! It doesn't seem believable does it?

As I skirted round the edge of the town for the tenth time, my mind was racing. They're so young, why do they think they are ready to have sex, let alone children? What had I done wrong in my mentoring of them? Should I tell their parents? What was going to happen to them if I dropped them home without telling them 'don't do it'? How quickly could I get them both sterilised without them noticing?

I pulled into a side road and turned to face them, ready to throw every scare tactic and incentive at them that I could possibly think of. But as I looked into their expectant faces I stopped myself. What was Jesus asking of me as I sat there in the car with them? Instead of launching into a dialogue motivated by panic, I decided to ask some different questions; what was behind them wanting to have a baby at 16? What were their needs that they thought a baby would fulfil? Did they feel that there were no other opportunities in life available to them?

So we chatted for a bit about what had brought them to the point of thinking of having a baby. We thought about the pressures that being sexually involved with each other so young might put on their relationship and we explored what makes a great parent and a happy family home. We dreamed about the future and what they wanted to be, experience and achieve, shared some take-away chips and I dropped them home. But the questions kept nagging away at me; did i do the right thing? Did I say enough? Did I do my 'job'?

This article can be found in its entirety in the September issue of Youthwork magazine. Check out our great subscription offers now!